the past 3 years have been more significant to me than the 20 years prior combined. without going into too much detail, i’ve done a lot of soul searching in these past 3 years.. with myself and with others. in this, i’ve noticed that i like to soak things up. anything, really. and if you know me well enough, you know that i’m quite possibly the most observant 23 year old male you may come in contact with.
i notice your haircut, i notice the changes you made in your apartment and the new dent in your car. i notice your new shirt. i notice that you don’t laugh as much as you used to. i notice that you think its kind of strange that i notice all these things.
i’m a self proclaimed ‘noticer’
i notice things and i like it this way. i like this quality of mine and i think thats okay for me to admit. it allows me, like i said, to soak things in; perhaps, see things that others might not.
i learn things about people, and about how people react to life and what it hands them.
sometimes people think I’m just being quiet.
yes, but i’m really just observing.
if you’re having a bad day, there’s a good chance i knew this before you told me.
if what i said just bothers you, i can tell without hesitation and apologize.
if i am annoying the bujeezus out of you, i’ve probably already stopped talking.
this also works for me, and how i am. i’ve become extremely self aware. i notice from day-to-day how i react and handle things differently than i did a couple weeks ago, or even years ago. it often leads me analyzing myself and my life, it’s quite annoying, but rather informative.
prior to these last few years i never really cared much about myself, or who i was but the older i get, the more observant and sponge-like i become in regards to myself and my surroundings.
in constantly analyzing myself, i read an article about extroverts and it got me thinking. ”yeah, i have a lot of friends. i like people. i like talking. i like hanging out. yeah, I’m totally an extrovert.”
i wanted to be an extrovert.
extroverts are awesome.
extroverts are known for having more fun (i might have made that up).
not to mention, extroverts are everywhere. according to the article, 75% of the population are considered extroverted.
but, as i continue down this path of searching for who i am and what the world wants from me and how i will react to it, I’ve begun to notice that i am not an extrovert.
i am an introvert in a world full of extroverts.
i almost felt upset when i came to this realization.
“crap, this means i’ve got to be the quiet weird kid in the corner listening to his headphones and ignoring the world around him.”
but the more i think about it, the more i realize that pretty much all of the things most people expect from introverts are wild misconceptions.
allow me to elaborate..
it’s not that introverts don’t like to talk, we just don’t like to talk unless we have something valuable to say. get me going 1-on-1 about something we have in common or something that i love and i probably won’t be quiet for hours.
we aren’t shy, we just need a reason to interact. i will never interact for the sake of interacting. i hate small talk.
we aren’t rude, but if i notice something is bothering you or that you are doing something stupid, i don’t see the point in beating around the bush. i’ll ask you about it or call you out on it. for example, i recently had a good friend of mine break things off with his girlfriend. I’m sure a normal 23 year old guy would have just waited till he mentioned it, or just never brought it up, but not me. i called him out. i asked him about it and got right to it. he was upset and i wanted him to talk about it; to tell me about it. i guess i just want everyone to be real and honest and to the point.
we definitely don’t dislike people, either. i absolutely love people. nor do we have trouble going to public places. i just might not like to go out in public for nearly as long as you do. i take in the environment and experiences very quickly and therefore, don’t need to be there for long to “get” the experience. i’m ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. perhaps even talk about it, 1-on-1 with a close friend. i love public places.
we don’t only find happiness in solitude. sure, i love being alone. i like working on things by myself: creating things, imagining things, daydreaming. this is okay with me. i primarily look inward, paying close attention to my thoughts and emotions. but i don’t strive to be constantly alone. that would be awful
we aren’t weird, we are just individualistic. we don’t prefer to follow the crowd and i couldn’t possibly tell you why. we just.. don’t.
with all this said, i hope that you accept my introverted ways and that we can still be friends.
if i don’t want to be out in public all day, now you know why.
if i cut to the chase and ask you what the heck is the matter, don’t take it offensively.
if you are an extrovert, don’t you worry, we will fit together as simply and beautifully as peanut butter and jelly. i will provide the introspection and quiet reflection that the extrovert tends to lack, and you will provide that craziness that i can tend to lack from time to time.
we can balance each other out; it will be great.
