why is it that my thoughts race so recalcitrantly when i lay awake at night?
the past, the present, the future; it’s all i can see.
i think about what could have been.
what is,
and what will come.
i think about my life.
trying not to focus on the past.
trying not to focus on the fact that my life is filled with things.
things that i could’ve done better.
things i can’t change.
things i regret.
but i’ve changed.
and i’ve changed because of these things.
and because of these things, i wouldn’t change a thing.
i wouldn’t change a thing because these things brought me here.
to who i am now.
and who i am now is who i want to be.
i won’t be the same in five years as i am now.
i will assuredly look back at myself,
in five years from now,
to who i am now,
and think all these same things.
but such is life.
you live,
you learn,
you grow.
it’s a beautiful cycle, really.
